Living

I live a pretty quiet (honestly a little boring) life. I don't do a whole lot, I don't socialize much besides church and bell practice, and I don't even get out of the house very often. I tend to stay in my room during most of the day, playing around online and working on the tiny school load I have right now. I go to work twice a week. That's it. That's my life. I don't make much of an effort at anything. And while the ultra-lazy side of myself absolutely loves my life, I'm generally pretty dissatisfied when I take a step back and look at what I'm doing. Or not doing.

I don't know where this thought really came from, but I used to think that Christians shouldn't have dreams. I never really consciously realized that I thought this until recently. I used to think that we should live quiet, simple lives. Not necessarily living like monks, just simply. No muss, no fuss, no big deal. Just living. I don't think Christians should live extravagantly. And don't get me wrong, I do still believe we ultimately should be satisfied with simplicity. I do not believe anymore that we should live statically. Sadly, that's pretty much how I've lived the past 18 years of my life. Granted, it's hard for a person growing up to have much control over where they go and what they do. But I've been gaining more control over my life as I come closer to adulthood, and I feel like I've been wasting it. God has given us full, colorful lives. I believe now that enjoying those lives is the way He intended us to live. I also used to think that a Christian shouldn't have any strong desires for a "dream job" or a "dream life". I don't think these dreams are a bad thing anymore. Of course, covetousness, envy, lust, and greed are all sinful, and we have to avoid these kinds of dreams. But I think God gives us our dreams to point us in a direction He wants us to go in. Maybe it's not His will that those dreams come true. But maybe it's His will to go through certain experiences while seeking our dreams.

Spring always seems like a time when I look at my life and decide to make changes. Maybe I won't make them all. But I want to make a few. I want to start wearing skirts and dresses more this year, not for special occasions, just every day. I want to make a point of intense Bible study. What am I doing when I'm checking Facebook about ten times more often than I read the Bible in a day?? I want to get a different job so I can save more and be better able to go after some dreams. I want to change my hairstyle in some way. I want to paint my fingernails often, completely disregarding the fact that the paint always chips off by the second or third day. I want to get out of my room more, maybe start doing my homework in the living room. It makes me more accountable anyway. I want to learn to put my makeup on well, but at the same time take care of my skin and wear less makeup. I want to start working on ideas for interior design projects. I want to actually take on some projects in real life, not just plan them out on paper. I want to exercise and get in shape. I want to figure out what exactly my dreams are and who I want to be. Then, it's time to get started on living this life the Lord has blessed me with, and living it well.